While I was living in captivity and pregnant I had some terrible experience one was knowing that my baby was being abused mental and physically daily. After the beatings on my body when my fetus would shake from the abuse. I would go to the second bedroom and try to consul my baby. Using my hands to try to heal the abuse my baby had received from my abuser. I was doing a healing on my baby with my hands a reiki healing although at the time I did not know that it was what I was doing. I would continually talk to my baby telling it over and over again to live that I loved it and wanted it to be OK at the time I did not know what the sex of my baby was. I was trapped in a house I had no way to go for help or get medical care. But I did the only thing i could in those hours afterwards which was to tell my baby that I love it and wanted it to live. My fetus would after a while stop shaking and calm down and feel safe again. I would spend hours and hours doing this and rubbing my tummy letting it know in the only way I could that I loved it. I knew my baby hated my abusers voice as my fetus would shake as soon as the shouting started so I was determined to send my baby the message that I loved and wanted it to survive. Even after my baby was born I would spend hours and hours with him in the baby carry attached to me and I would kiss his little head every few minutes. Telling him over and over again that he was loved and wanted. My decision was to reprogram him with the messages that I loved him and wanted him in any way that I could. I also build a team of caring loving family members and support workers around him with lots of photos of all the people who loved him and cared about him in the house for him to look at and see every day. You see I knew that my baby was very affected from the abuse as babies hear and absorb every emotion and word that is said to them both while in the womb and afterwards when born. I was determined to get as many positive messages to him as I could to somehow repair the damage that was done to him during the beatings with my abuser. Towards the end of my pregnancy I could not get out of the house as the back door and front door were dead locked plus their were security grills on both doors that were locked, their were bars on all the windows too so I was locked in the house with a mad violence man with no escape. As I had escaped the house out of the back door when it was not dead locked earlier on my abuser made the security even more tight so that I could not escape the house when he was asleep and run to the police station for help. The fact that my abuser went to jail for killing the policeman in a domestic saved our lives. Having him in jail meant that I was alone with my baby without my abuser around so I was able to love him in a way that I knew babies needed to be treated. As I was a child care worker I knew what babies needed which is lots of love and kindness which I did all day long for hours of every day for years. I felt so horrible and traumatised from what my baby had lived through I could not do enough for him and to make his life as happy, loving and fun as I could. I wanted to send the message to him that I love you completely and you are my number one today and every day.
So my message to you would be to surround your children and babies with as many positive messages as you can so that they will have as many good experiences as you can. Tell them often that you love them and care about them. Have positive people who love them around them. Read them books that have positive messages in them to educate them. Keep violent shows and negative people away as much as you can. Children learn from what they see and experience around them so think about what your behaviour is as they learn from you. Another thing I did was have positive family members spend time with my baby so he knew there was a team of people around him who loved and cared for him and not jut me. I also organised support organisations to be involved with us so that we had lots of support to help us. There are lots of support agencies out their two that I used were Barnados Australia and a early intervention service called Bevenolent society. A child who feels loved and cared for will always do better than one who isn’t. So think about what message you are sending to your children.
For more information on my true story you can read my bio voices from inside which will be available on this website soon.