This information is from my Domestic Violence Course, This information is from the government body on Domestic Violence and sexual assault, Crisis Centre for rape victims in Australia, My own experiences, research and downloads from source. It can not be copied, used or stolen from me as it is copyrighted.
This information is to inform and educate you about rape. If you feel triggered contact a support worker for help.
Most sexual abuse of children and adults is non violent. Sometimes children are force-ably raped however. Rape is not the result of sexual desire. It is a form of aggression expressed through sexual acts. The motives for rapes may be divided into three categories, anger, power and sadism. Although each rape is usually dominated by one of these motives, some elements of the other two may also be present. Rapists also act in two special situation which are somewhat different from other types of rape. One of these is gang rape when several people rape one person. The second is rape that occurs in institutions, particularly correctional institutions. Now let us look at the different motives for rape.
The Anger Rapist
The Anger Rapist attacks children or adults as a means of expressing and venting feelings of anger and rage. The rape is often physically brutal. The rapist is taking out his anger at other people, or at frustrating situations, on his victim. His intent is to hurt and debase his victim. Sometimes he makes the victim perform sexual acts that he considers degrading. Anger rapes tend to happen quickly. The rapist often acts without planning and then escapes.
The Power Rapist
The Power Rapist feels inadequate and insecure. His goal in rape is the sexual conquest and control of the victim. This makes him feel powerful. He uses only enough force as is necessary to get what he wants. The power rapist often sees himself as “winning” his victims rather than forcing on her. He needs to believe that the victim wanted to have sex with him and even enjoyed it. This way he can feel like an important, desirable, powerful person. In correctional institutions, rape is often one way an inmate demonstrates his power over another inmate. Although this usually involves sexual acts between two people of the same sex, it has nothing to do with homosexuality. An inmate rapes another inmate to prove that he is powerful and dominant over him, not because he finds him sexually exciting.
The Sadistic Rapist
Sadistic Rapists are very rare but have severe psychological problems. For them, sexuality and aggression become mixed. They get sexual enjoyment and satisfaction from tormenting and injuring victims. Such rapes often end in murder.
The Gang Rapist
In Gang Rapes, each rapist may have a different motive. One may be venting his anger on the victim. Another may be trying to prove his power to the other rapists or to the victim. Still another may be trying to gain acceptance from his buddies.
Sociopaths
Other motives for the sexual abuse of children and adults do exist. Some “Sociopaths”who are individuals with an “Antisocial Personality Disorder” may sexually abuse children “for kicks.” This type of person is extremely self-centred and cares little for the welfare of others. His own desires are more important. He is always looking for excitement. He may not be especially interested in children as sexual objects, but rather may be interested in the excitement of a new experience. The sociopath may be a very charming, clever and interesting person. Often he becomes involved in criminal activities. Having sex with children may be just one of the many types of sexual activities he tries. Other sociopath’s may sexually abuse children because children are easily available to satisfy a sexual need. Sociopaths usually become involved in brief incidents of sexual abuse although involvement in a continuing relationship or incest is also possible.
Common Characteristics
Whatever motivations lead an individual to sexually abuse children, these individuals often have characteristics in common.
Many of them were victims of sexual or physical abuse themselves as children.
Most of them are self-centred and think more of satisfying their own needs than of the welfare of the children or adults they abuse.
Fixated Child Molesters are people who have never grown up psychologically and socially. They may abuse children, because children are the only people they feel comfortable with. Or, if the abuser was the victim of child sexual abuse himself, he may sexually abuse children because it allows him to feel like a powerful person instead of a victim.
Regressed Child Molesters
The other group of child molesters is called”Regressed Child Molesters.” These people have developed some social skills that allow them to interact with other adults, especially women. They often marry and have families of their own. When these people are under a great deal of stress however, they “Regress” or move back to relationships with children. The primary sexual orientation of regressed child molesters is toward people of their own age. They usually find adults more sexually exciting than children. However, they often have poor resources for handling stress. When crises or traumas occur in adulthood, they may become overwhelmed. They then turn to children to meet their emotional needs through sexual activity. They replace their difficult relationships with other adults with involvement with children. The regressed child molester’s sexual abuse of children may occur in cycles. He abuses children primarily when he is experiencing much stress. During periods of low stress, the abuse may stop. He may also sexual abuse children and is more likely to be impulsive, at first, rather then planned out. Often it takes place when he has been drinking or using drugs. Alcohol is not a cause of the abuse, but its use “allows” the abuser to do things he might not other wise do. Regressed Child Molesters choose girls as their victims. The Regressed Child Molester often imagines that the girl is much older than she really is. In his mind he thinks of her as an adult. Therefore, she becomes an appropriate sexual partner. Regressed Child Molesters are often involved in incest. As incest continues, the sexual abuser often abandons his role as a parent while the victim gradually takes on responsibilities for keeping the family together and meeting the abuser’s needs.
We will often ask ourselves “Why did this happen to me?”
“Why did he do this to me?”
“What did I do to deserve this abuse?”
Parents often ask “How could he do that to my child?”
“Why would anyone sexually abuse a child?”
It can be difficult to answer these questions, but many of the answers are here in the reasons for the type of rape they did to you or to the victim. There are often many reasons of Why? None of it is ever the victims fault in any way. Many of the abusers have serious psychological problems. They want to satisfy their own needs rather than the victim of their abuse. They think the victim is going to make them feel better in some way or to serve a need that they have. About 80 percent of victims of child abuse are from people they know. There are some sexual abusers who abuse children which is “Dangerous Stranger.” Most sexual abusers are men, although some are women. Sexual abusers may be of any age from adolescence to old age. Sexual abusers have many psychological problems. They are often individuals who do not feel comfortable with people of their own age. They choose children to meet their needs because children are less threatening to them. Not very much is know about women who sexually abuse children. Sexual abuse by women is not reported often to police or to crisis workers. Women abusers are usually involved in a continuing relationship or incest. Their victims are usually boys, although they sometimes do abuse girls.
So what is the definition of Rape! Here is what the legal definition of rape is. This is from the Rape Crisis Centre in Australia who supported me through my Sexual Abuse Healing.
Rape is a sexual assault, it is an attack on a women, child or man who is forced into a sexual acts against there will. Rape is a violent assault that is acted out in part sexually. Though psychological, verbal and physical abuse, rape violates a person’s integrity and also her sense of safety and control over her life. Rape occurs anytime a person is coerced or forced either verbally or physically into sexual contact of any type. It is rape regardless of whether the perpetrator is a friend an acquaintance, a relative, a partner or a stranger. Rape is not an act of desire or sexual gratification rather, rape is a violent and angry expression of the rapist’s desire to dominate someone else. Unfortunately many people, including those in prominent decisions making positions still do not understand that rape is a violent crime motivated by anger and desire to control, not an expression of sexual desire. Many people believe that rape must involve extreme physical violence. On the contrary the majority of women who are raped do not sustain serious physical injury. The emotional trauma that women, men and children go through who have experienced sexual assault endure is now well documented.
Rape a Broader Definition
Sexual violence against women by men is extremely common in our society. The number of women who have experienced rape is often hidden when rape is called something else like assault or abuse. This can make it more acceptable and hides the reality of its nature. In addition many misconception about rape are commonly held by people in our society that most rapist’s are strangers. These misconceptions often lead woman to question whether the experience that they have survived is “really rape.”
It is rape when a women is coerced or threatened into feeling that she “owes” her boyfriend or date sex just because he has paid for a meal.
It is rape when a woman’s husband partner demands access to her body whenever he sees fit.
It is rape when a women is pressured or coerced using emotional blackmail or other threats into engaging in sexual activity.
For too long women have been silenced about the many forms of rape and sexual violence that we experience every day of our lives. As women we are subjected on a daily basis to wolf- whistles, stares, gropes, and sexual comments. Our society continues to communicate the message that violence towards women is acceptable by portraying women in the media and elsewhere as sexual objects who invite rape.
Rape continues to exist in our society as a result of these attitudes and beliefs. We will continue to live in a rape culture unless people in our society understand and work to eradicate these sources of sexual violence.
From Surviving Rape